Coward
by xRestlessme
Summary: He hated that word. It was all his father ever thought of him, he didn't want her to think that way either.


_First Severus story ever, so treat me kindly. _

_I know this would probably never happen in the books, so lets call this a slight AU story._

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned Harry Potter, but I don't sorry.**

* * *

Long, pale fingers skimmed through the pages. The worn, brown paper like leather under his fingertips.

Stringy black hair brushes against gaunt cheeks, so pale, almost gray. Thin lips become even thinner as he slowly chews his bottom lip.

She was late once again.

The Potter brat was really starting to get on Severus' already short nerves.

A tall figure fell into the chair across from him, lighting up the dark library corner.

"Severus! Sorry I'm late, James went and activated the stairs. Apparently he wanted to leave me a note!" she rushed out, voice excited.

His heart beat faster in his chest, roaring.

He had to be sick or something.

"It's fine, but you shouldn't talk to him. He's dangerous Lily," he muttered, eyes meeting hers.

Green so dark it draws him in until he can't begin to breath.

A fierce flame spreads across his face as he looks away.

Had he seen the same fire on her face?

The silence draws on, until Lily loudly speaks, "Sev…he isn't dangerous. Yes, his pranks are stupid and childish, but he's growing out of it! He hasn't made fun of you in months."

Severus' fists clench around his book as he glares at the bright hair.

He just wanted to touch it so badly.

Yet, Lily was a light he could never really grasp.

The light burned him too badly.

"Not that you've seen Lily. You don't seem to see a lot of things nowadays, do you?" he questions coldly.

Lily draws into herself, hands gripping her shoulders.

She moves to speak, stopping. Hurt eyes meet his, quickly looking away.

"Sev, don't blame this on me! I try-so hard! I forgave you for…then, don't make me…hate you again," she hisses angrily, standing from the table.

Cold eyes watch her run away, part of him yearning to run after her.

He can't!

She's a muggleborn, what would _he_ say if he knew?

Slowly shutting the book, he takes his time packing. He could go find Lucius, he tolerated him now.

But no, he would rather spend his time with Lily.

She had been his first childhood friend and they were growing apart.

He didn't want that, couldn't bare even the mere thought.

Stumbling at the weight of his bag, he began to walk towards the Slytherin commons.

His bruised ego hums in his head, shouting in his father's voice.

"_You're a bloody coward!"_

His lip curled over, eyes blazing.

He detested that damned word.

"Severus?"

The cloaked figure pulls out of the shadows, rushing to him.

Lily wraps her arms around his thin frame, her face buried in the tall boy's shoulders. She's been crying again, he trained himself to notice a long time ago.

"What is it? You can't always expect me to read your mind," he murmurs, face hidden in the shadows he's come to crave.

"That stupid…prat! I don't know why I even love him so much!" Lily cries out.

Black eyes widen as icy cold rushes through him.

His hear feels as if it's being stabbed over and over.

Lily silences as she realizes her mistake, "Sev, I wanted to tell you! I just…I was scared. Me and you have known each other for years. I care about you a lot."

Her arms tighten around him, trying to trap him.

Severus lowers his arms, slowly stepping away from the lioness.

She is a fiercely beautiful creature and he is the lowly snake.

One who will shed his skin to blend it.

Now was the time.

Her eyes widen in confusion as she tries to grasp him once again.

Thin hands hold her wrists, stopping her entirely.

When their friendship had briefly ceased, his world had collapsed.

Sometimes you make bad decisions at that moment.

The burning on his right shoulder reminds him.

"I have to go…Ms Evans," he whispers, cold lips brushing against her cheek.

Running from her, he doesn't expect to her the footsteps.

A coward was made to be lonely after all.

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_Sorry it was so short! Please R&R._


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